The funniest thing about it is that even when I'm not in the mood to write, I'm still in the mood for my diary. Which is why tonight I sat down and created myself a new layout. I missed my old Angelina layout, and I missed having an original layout, so I created this one. It's really simple. So far I'm only able to create things that are very basic, almost in table form. I'm terribly jealous of those super creative, fluid-like layouts. I'm not jealous enough to learn how to do them, though. But the basics I have down. So I looked through my file of Angelina pictures on my computer and decided this one was worth display.

I'm still waiting on my new job. I contacted my recruiter a few days ago since I hadn't heard anything in a long time. She wrote back that they're still waiting on my file from my old job. That job I hated that sucked my soul out a little bit each day. Since I needed a clearance for that job and I need a clearance for the new job, they need to see that file and they can't do anything until they get it. It's as though my old job is reaching out from the past and hindering me still.

In the meantime I still wait tables. It's not great. The restaurant where I currently work is a shoddy operation. I'm trying to chalk it up to the fact that they're new, but it's getting old very fast. Last Saturday night four employees walked out due to the conditions. I would never do that myself, but I can understand the motivation. The management runs the place in a manner that makes it unbearable for experienced serving staff to make any money or even have an enjoyable evening. They continually give small sections (like two tables) to people who know what they're doing. They overreact to every problem in an extreme manner which annoys the servers AND the guests. The only reason I'm still there is because I hope I'll be leaving for my new job at the end of summer.

Today is Julia's birthday. I arranged for Barbie to call her to sing a special song. She loved it. Only one month until she moves down here! I'm so excited, but I still feel bad for her. She really doesn't want to move. She's doing it to be with her boyfriend. Last weekend when I was visiting her we were surrounded by her family and it was a wonderfully happy time and I was struck by how much she is giving up for him. She's indescribably close to her family and I really don't know how she's going to make it away from them.

I can't imagine that a person exists that could cause me to make the kind of sacrifices some people make to be with the one they love. Like Julia moving to Maryland or Clarity moving to Germany and the whole host of other things that people do for one another. I can't imagine that person existing for me.

I don't say that in a wistful, "I wish it could happen" way. It's just fact. I don't know. Maybe it's not fact. Maybe that person does exist but since I've never felt that way I can't imagine it. How did I even end up talking about this? Weird.