Roomate's Mom: Good Morning, Stacey. I'm looking for my son.

Me:I haven't seen him this morning so he must still be in bed.

RM: What? It's 9:30. He is always awake by 9:30.

Me: He was still awake when I went to bed last night, so I don't know how late he was up.

RM: But he told me he wasn't going out last night because he was tired. Maybe he's not feeling well. Maybe you should go check on him.

Me: I am sure that he's fine. He told me he was looking forward to getting a lot of sleep this weekend because he hasn't gotten much sleep during the week [the lack of sleep being for the same reason that he's not out of bed right now].

RM: Maybe he went to the gym. Is it possible that he went to the gym before you got up?

Me: It's possible, since I haven't seen him. But I really think he just hasn't gotten up yet.

RM: It's just so strange. Maybe you should check on him. He might be really sick.

Me: I'm positive he's not sick. I'll tell him you called as soon as I see him.

RM: Ok, thanks. It's not an emergency, but now I'm wondering where he is.

Me: He's just not out of bed yet, that's all. I'll talk to you soon.

RM: Ok, Stacey. See you soon.

To really get the hilarity in this conversation you need to know my roommate and his parents. He talks to his parents at least once, and usually several times a day. I have no idea what they talk about, but the fact that he was unavailable to talk worried her to no end, because normally he jumps at the chance to say hello to his mommy. I would have loved to say, "Your precious son can't come to the phone right now because he's engaging in nookie with his boyfriend, who he has been dating for approximately eight days." But then she would have had a heart attack and I'm not ready to deal with that.