Baltimore
13 April 2004


Last night I dreamed that Kiefer Sutherland was trying to kill me.

Kiefer took a pick axe or something and was tearing up the tile floor in my kitchen. Underneath the tile was a big hole, like a hiding place. Thinking back it should have had something underneath it to support me when I walked on the tile, but in the dream it was a huge hole. Kiefer jumps down into the hole and says, "You have 45 minutes to retile the floor and if you don't succeed, I'm going to kill you." Naturally this freaks me out. There is a whole roll of that tile that comes in a roll next to Kiefer's hole, but instead I was trying to tile the floor with pages that I ripped out of magazines. Needless to say, this wasn't working very well because there was a big hole in the floor and the magazine pages just kept drooping into the hole from where they were connected on the side.

Finally I notice the roll of tile, but instead of just rolling it overtop of the Kiefer hole I cut squares of tile off of the roll, then I pasted the magazine pages on top of them, then I tried to re-tile the Kiefer hole. I thought I was finally making progress when all of the sudden Kiefer just shoots out of the hole, like he was on some sort of catapult or ejection seat or something. I screamed and he chased me, with his gun, around my apartment. All the while I'm screaming, "But Kiefer, it hasn't been 45 minutes!" Then we ran out of my house and there were some S.W.A.T. guys there, waiting for Kiefer. Apparantly he had been making people tile their floors all over my neighborhood and they were trying catch him for months.

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