I love Ashton Kutcher.

There. It's done. I got it out. Are you shocked?

See, I don't WANT to love him. I don't understand WHY I love him. Ashton Kutcher represents everything that normally annoys me, both about celebrities and about boys in general.

Ashton Kutcher sluts around town (at least, in his pre-Demi days), parties with P. Diddy, and seems to be an attention whore. He dresses like a slob, but because he's Ashton Kutcher, he probably pays top dollar for those mesh baseball caps.

He appears to be terribly immature. I watch him on Punk'd, and he runs around like a lunatic, acting the fool and making stupid jokes. Under normal circumstances, I'd roll my eyes and change the channel. But for some inexplicable reason, I don't. Instead I can't take my eyes off of him.

He's like a big kid, and that's generally why I don't like boys (or men, whatever) my age. They make low brow jokes, they're hyperactive and obnoxious. But when Ashton does those things, it makes me giggle like a school girl.

Maybe I'm not so crazy. I know other girls think that Ashton is dreamy, but I do not want to be grouped with those girls in any way, thank you very much. But Demi Moore seems to like him. That leads me to believe that he must have some redeeming qualities. I mean, she is 40 years old. Ashton must have something going on behind that pretty pretty face other than the obnoxious overgrown kid routine. Why else would she let him stick around? Good sex will only get you so far.

Look at my trying to justify my shame.

I'm glad I was able to share this. It makes me feel a little better about myself. But this doesn't mean I'm ready to tell the world. In fact, if anyone asks me if I think Ashton Kutcher is dreamy, I'll say no.

What else can I do? I can't ruin my reputation with the fact that Ashton Kutcher turns me into a giggly high school girl and that when I look at him I can't help but wish I was making out with him.

So let's just keep this between us.