My new job is supposed to start today. I get up in the morning (after barely sleeping last night due to nerves) and make the drive to my new job. Well, I get there and they seem to have no idea that I'm supposed to be there. I get taken into the human resources office and they say there is a problem with my clearance. Apparantly my old company has yet to respond to the request to transfer clearance and without it, I can't work. WHAT? I ask them when they think it might be ready. They have no idea. Not even a time frame. Not two days or two weeks or two months. They really couldn't say. Just go home and wait for our call. We understand how frustrating this is, and we're sorry.

So now, here I sit. I don't know what to do with myself. As of right now I'm ok for money, but that won't be the case in a week or so. If they could say to me, "You definitely will start in a week," I'd still be discouraged, but I know that I would survive. As it is, who knows how long this stretch of unemployment might last? Should I attempt to find another job in the meantime? Should I just forget this stupid job, find a place to wait tables, and go back to school? Could I possibly survive while doing that? Would I want to? Do I just sit at home watching TV for as long as it takes for this job to pull through? Will it be a day or a month? How do I decide? What happens when my money runs out?

To add even more troubles, I'm moving soon. On August 22nd, to be exact. Not that moving is that big an issue, but it costs money. I just paid security deposit, pet security deposit, August rent (pro-rated) and application fee for this apartment, and now I don't know if I'll have the rent money for September 1st. Plus all of the other expenses that come with a new place, things you don't even think about.

Holy shit.

I can't manage my life.


pssst...I updated my book list, if anyone cares.