My social disease essentially involves me not wanting to interact with anyone who I'm not already friends with unless I have to. I never know what to say to people I don't know, I usually find them annoying, and I have no interest in finding out if they're worth my time. If they are worth my time, that will be revealed when I'm forced to be around them, but that's it.

Some people, like Matt, don't understand my social disease. Matt is always making new friends and meeting people and making small talk and just likes to hang around with everyone. That's great for him, but it just doesn't work for me. I actually end up making a lot of friends THROUGH him, because I'm forced to be around them when he hangs out with all of us. Some of them, like Nick P, turn out to be great friends and I'm so glad I have a socialite like Matt to help me through the tough times. Others, like this guy Rob (who, without even knowing me for more than a total of four hours, and not all at once, declared me to give off negative energy, that I am mean to people on a regular basis, and that it's my life work to turn gay men straight) make me wish I never had to hang around Matt and his friends.

Other friends, like Julia and Anthony, totally understand and embrace my social disease. They even share it, which is probably part of the reason we all get along so well.

So, why am I suffering the effects of the social disease right now? Well, I just got out of my microbiology lab, where I've been forced to pair off with this imbecile to conduct the labs. In my Anatomy lab yesterday I was miserable as I had to essentially teach two of my three lab partners how to do everything, then listen to them make small talk about their pets and their families because they suddenly thought we were friends due to the fact that I held their hands throught the lab. I thought to myself, "thank goodness I don't have a partner in my micro lab. It's just me and the bunson burner."

Alas, my relatonship with my bunson burner was not meant to be. This doofy guy comes into class today and since I'm the only person without a partner, he got assigned to me. He missed the first week of lab so he had no idea what was going on. He was wearing a velour suit! Who does he think he is, J.Lo? He didn't have any paper (so he had to borrow it from me), he can't see the board from where we're sitting (so I had to tell him what it said) and when the professor was explaining the lab procedures, he walked out and missed them all! And so I had to explain to him what was going on when he got back. Of course, he didn't understand my explanation, which meant I had to explain it three times. Idiot. Just when I thought I couldn't take anymore, he starts off a sentence with, "The last time I took this class..."

I know, it doesn't sound like my social disease was the cause of my miserable lab experience, but rather the fact that I was paired with a dumbass. But really, I was miserable the second I laid eyes on him. Disgusted with the fact that I'd have to maintain a dialogue with this person. He could have been a completely nice Heath Ledger look alike and I'd feel the same way.

OK, maybe not. But I still wouldn't want to make small talk.